Powerless

Hand over the resentment of those months.

Where they wasted?

Of course they weren't.

So many lessons, such a tragic being.

Stopping to discover who we are

Ever gotten to a point in your life and thought -'crap- I just don't know who I really am'?

Youth flew out the door years before and suddenly, here you are, smack bang in the middle of your life.

You could be in a relationship with someone for years, and suddenly wonder 'what the hell am I doing here'?

Or you could be out of a relationship and be single and think 'how the hell did I get here'?

Society Versus Reality

WOW  thanks for all the love, support and feedback I have been getting. It is great there are a lot of people that connect with where I am coming from. It took a lot of courage to put my imperfections out there for the world to see, and I understand that a lot of people would be very uncomfortable doing that.  There is always a friend or relative in someones life that struggles with a monster in their heads. What I am being taught right now is how to manage the thoughts in my head via CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It is a type of psychotherapy that helps people to change unhelpful or unhealthy thinking habits, feelings and behaviours. So basically making that monster in our heads smaller. 

Life begins at 44- Watch me fly

Mourning is over.

Taking it on!

Thank god! WOW WOW WOW. I am just super duper happy right now . I cant wait till tomorrow.

Just got the Royal Smackdown from a child of mine. It was harsh, it was true. It was effective. It made me build a bridge in 5 minutes flat and get over it.

Time to live life to its fullest. I have nothing chaining me down. I am single. I am still young. I have awesome friends. I have a great job I love. I work with lovely, fun, kind caring women and men.  I love my home. My family is awesome. My pets are awesome. My house is awesome. My bed is awesome. And life is awesome. I have great support and some great guidance to a happy mindful future. My children have awesome futures in front of them and I am just so blown away by how switched on my daughter is about some things. Harsh but switched on.

I was happy years ago, happy and fun and I laughed a lot with my children.

I am going back to happy me and I am going to inhale every single exciting minute of my life.

And then what happened - Feedback

I say how I feel. I say I am not alone. Because, I am not and you are not alone if you feel this.

There are teenagers that feel this. There are adults that feel this. There are friends whose family members feel like I do. There are singers, actors, rich people, poor people that feel like I do. 

Grief for the end of a relationship is exactly like grief over a death. At the blink of an eye, one minute you can be holding each other. Then the next minute they can be riding away. You may never speak to them or see them again. 

Here is a connection, a special empathy, someone who relates. Thank you for your feedback on grief over the end of a relationship. Many people struggle through this, if this is you, remember you are not alone:

And then what happened > Day 10

I ended a relationship last week. First world problem. I know I know.... Very self self self. Oh but the tears. Crying like there is no tomorrow. Crying like I was 15 all over again. The moisturiser smells of him. This made him laugh, he loved that. He is never going to be in my bed again . Boo hoo hoo. My dogs just look at me and don't know what to do.The expressions on their faces - priceless.

Breaking up - hardest thing I have done for a long time, child birth not counting ( don't mind the fact that I own my own property and manage it along with a full time job, raised 3 kids on my own, financially supported the 4 of us for 12 years......  yada yada yada) . How do you let go of someone you thought you really liked. Something so new. When there is so much between you yet to be explored and still to discover in each other. Someone that doesn't demand more time than you can give. Someone that doesn't need what you own. Someone secure enough in themselves to not fawn over you.. Someone that gets your full attention.

I faced a fear, slayed it and put it to bed - Day 5

I used to journal alot as a child and a teenager. And then I stopped.

What I didn't realise was, journal ling was a very healthy thing to do. Writing now with a pen feels like torture. Thank god I can touch type. Because my brain goes a mile a minute.